I find it interesting what things I am drawn to so powerfully. A fantastic example would be Native Americans. My problem with that term though, is they are just Natives. There are the only Natives. There have been certain things bringing me back to the Native culture. In school when we learned about the Trail of Tears and the other horrible things that were done to the Natives, I would become very emotional about it. It was almost like reliving things that I had already experienced in my life. The only thing is, there is no way I was alive then. Well unless Karma and reincarnation come into play. I found out a few years ago that I actually have a line of Native in my blood. On my mom’s side, we are part Mohican. The only sad thing is that we are such a very small part Mohican. I would love to have much more Native blood in me. I have not only found Native men very attractive, but I will admit a few times I have thought about leaving everything to find one. Though obviously that plan is very flawed and, what I have been told in my Ego, kicks in. Besides the obvious that Natives of amazing looking, both the male and female, I would love to learn about their culture. I don’t mean that in an anthropological way. I mean that in a I have thought about being a part of their beliefs. I would love to experience the amazing things they did and most likely still do. My whole life I have had a Dream Catcher. I am particularly attached to them. I sleep with one close to my head ever night and the nights I don’t, I experience many night mares. There are times that I wonder if the Dream Catcher is why I have the amount of dream I do and if that is the case, the amount and the ability to remember them so well. Life I have mentioned before, dreams seem to flock to me. I don’t mind though, I love my dreams. Both the good and the bad ones seem to have some type of amazing meaning to them. It is interesting how some of the ones I had when I was younger worked out in reality. Not the nightmares, but the strange ones, especially the reoccurring ones. I now see how the dream of all of the children being stranded in a strange home happened. I can see how all those parts of the dream that seemed so trivial but vibrant were almost like messages.
Things that are extremely important to me, I make a part of me. Though I have not made any of my family members this way or my love, things that impact me so significantly that they change me I like to visualize. I like to see a reminder of what I have become and to see the amazing story that goes behind it. At the moment, I do that as tattoos. Some people thing it is weird that I have such diverse tattoos, especially since I am 20 years old. I have heard people tell me that I will regret them and want them removed later. To me though, I do not understand that. Why would I remove something from me that changed my being? Why would I want to forget something that impacted me so significantly? Sure, sometimes those impacts were bad at them time, but in reality they created something good. I love my tattoos and I never plan to remove them and I stand by that no matter how many times I’ve been told to never say never. I do not want to forget me and they represent me. I have been asked why would I put it on me permanently. Why not get some type of artwork that I can hang? Well, I love art and tattoos are art that you wear. Besides that, art can fade and be destroyed in fires or disasters. Sure tattoos can as well, but they cannot be lost and if they fade they can be revived without compromising the original. It also permanently becomes a part of you, just like my experiences. I love who I am, even on the days when it seems like I don’t, and by wearing these important symbols I get confidence and show the world who I am. Look, I am not saying tattoos are for everyone or that some people do not make silly decisions when getting them, especially at a young age. I think there is always an exception to that rule.
This Friday August 27th, I will be getting a Tattoo of a dream catcher with a Celtic knot making up part of the webbing. An artist I have never met before, but whom I was drawn to instantly, will be creating it for me. He will make me an amazingly unique piece that will also have the artist’s signature. I do not mean that literally, I mean that his style will be shown in his work. I am going to see an artist and it is unfair to ask an artist to compromise themselves to please someone else, just like it is wrong to ask a person to compromise themselves to be with or around others. I am both excited and nervous. I will have seven colored beads on it. Each one represents an important part of Native culture, each of which I believe in completely. I was aware that the beads had meaning, but I was not aware what exactly they were. I searched and came across quite a lot of useless information. Right when I was about to give up, I came across “Dancing To Eagle Spirit Society.” They had everything I wanted to know about Natives. Well not everything, but quite a good chunk of it. I was so moved by the information and the amazing pull of this society that I even thought about joining it. However, I do not know if I fit the profile, though I am very compelled by the way of the two-spirited people. If you get a chance to read about them, please do. It is amazing. This society was actually how I remembered and was given more information about the story behind the Dream Catcher.
On a side note, I am hoping that a lovely lady name Joy will be able to help me find my way. I actually hope that my way will have a tie to Native culture. I have to admit, when I found out that my mother’s spirit guide was a Native I was very jealous. That is ok though; she is also pulled into their culture and deserves an amazing guide like a Native. Well, that is my main thoughts for today. Well yesterday, since it is now after midnight. If you have any comments, I would love to hear them and I would also like to say thank you for reading.
This is the “Dancing To Eagle Spirit Society” website. It is amazing, please check it out. ---> http://www.dancingtoeaglespiritsociety.org/index.php
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